Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
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This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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