THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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