so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
