yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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