making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
