I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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