He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
