Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
bring money and cleavage
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
