He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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