His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
