I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
