I feel like I'm in dance class right now
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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