Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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