After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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