I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just googled if crying burns calories
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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