I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
