Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
