The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.