Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"