let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex