You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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