i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sober January is a disaster.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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