her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
