i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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