I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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