So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
