i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i need some magic done to my vagina
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
