Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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