i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
