I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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