Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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