We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize