so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
