I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
