i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
