Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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