I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
