She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
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He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
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Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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