this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I intend to get homeless drunk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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