he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
