it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you will always have a special place in my vag
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
