Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
