You're my little dorito
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
