2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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