we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize