We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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