Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
