you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
