I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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