Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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