D3 body, D1 cock
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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