she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
