I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
