The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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