I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
